The Road to Lifestyle

"I may be sitting in the corner, but I'm standing up on the inside." - Unknown

There is no better time than NOW. The time to live is NOW. The time to dream is NOW. The time to imagine and forget the past is NOW. The time to shine is NOW. -Unknown

I was not able to find an official copy of this story... but it went something like this... An old alley cat spies a little kitten chasing its tail and asks, "What are you doing?" The little kitten replies, "Well, I have just returned from Cat Philosophy school where I learned the two most important lessons that any cat can learn!" "And what, my little friend, might those be?" the alley cat said with a grin. "First, that the most important thing for a cat is Happiness and secondly, that Happiness is located in a cat's tail," said the kitten. The kitten continued, "So I surmised that if I chase my tail until I finally catch it, I will have Happiness forever!" The old cat replied, "Well, I haven't had the same opportunities as you and I have not had a chance to go to Cat Philosophy school; I have simply wandered the alleys most of my life. But amazingly I have been able to come to the same conclusion as you! Happiness is in f

Have you ever considered the possibility that "the way we see the problem is the problem" as Stephen Covey discusses in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People ? When I was in elementary school I remember one particular exercise that had a tremendous impact on me and quite frankly, has shaped the way I view the world. I remember being given close up shots of photos to look at and I was asked to give my honest reaction to each one. One particular photo had a car parked in two parking spots; the car intersected the parking spots diagonally. My initial reaction was, "How rude! They are taking up two spots!" Next I was shown the same photo however instead of the close up of the car in the parking spots, I could now see the building that the car was sitting in front of. The sign on the building said "Emergency Room" and I was told that someone's wife was about to have a baby and they had just pulled up to the hospital. I was again asked for my rea

This evening I went to the gym. A friend called me as I was about to exit my car and I told him how excited I was about certain happenings this past week. I told him that I loved life! That little things make all the difference... that a small goal realized can be such a tremendous joy in of itself. We finished up our conversation and out I went into the chill of the evening air. As I walked up to the building I noticed a small bird sitting on the sidewalk. I walked up to the little bird, squatted, and stroked his back gently with the back of my index finger. I assumed it was a boy. I asked, "Are you OK?" He fluffed up a bit... I stroked his back again, he spun around, and took flight. I watched as he disappeared into the darkness and smiled to myself, grateful for the experience. I continued on to my intended destination. As I left the gym, I texted my friend... I briefly related the story and said, "You know, I think he just wanted someone to ask him if he was OK.&quo

So it went something like this... I know millionaires... I know millionaires that look like they just lost their dog. And I know folks that are so low they could swing their legs sittin' on a dime. But they have found the joy in their lives; they feel blessed even though they have little. Just remember one thing: take time... take time. My son taught me that. I see the dollar signs in your eyes and I know you keep slidin' that decimal place to the right... but not for me, money isn't what I'm after. I stopped chasin' that paper. Don't forget... take time .

The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live through that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt

We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. -T.S. Eliot

A few months ago I posted something that never really sat well with me. It was about passion and doing something you're not passionate about until you can afford to do what your passionate about. Well I agreed that it was OK to do something you don't have a passion for and, like I said, it never really felt right. Sometimes the world gives you what you need to hear when you're ready to hear it... so just this past week I listened to something that solidified which side of the fence I was really on. Folks, you should NEVER do something you don't have a passion for. It is a miserable trail of pain, heartache, and utter frustration that will send you barreling down to the pits of an abysmal despair in short order. Ask me how I know... and you would have thought I had learned my lesson! Luckily , my friend John Maxwell and the team at Success magazine set the record straight once and for all with some convincing data. In a recent Success CD John relates a story about rese

Far too often we go careening through life with all of the grace and elegance of a bulldozer, taking street lamps and delicate sidewalk foliage down with us as we go. Let this be a warning: there are two things people love, not like, LOVE. The first is the sound of their name being spoken aloud to them and the second is a sincere and honest compliment. As for the former, Dale Carnegie, in his timeless classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, described the significance people place on their names of "astounding importance." Mispronounce or misspell it and you've now built a wall 10 feet high and 12 inches thick that you'll need to surmount before your given access to their inner workings. Having a uniquely spelled last name myself I am sensitive to names and name " mutilation ." That's Ceville with a "C" by the way. Being on the receiving end of a mispronounced or misspelled name is like a mental glitch... like a splinter in one'

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to interview a gentleman for my business. He was an older fellow... although, what does that really mean anymore? Perhaps in his mid to late 50's? I sat with him and discussed our business model, how we get paid, etc. always careful not to regale prospective agents with the merits of joining with us over any other insurance agency. That is not my goal. My goal is to lay out the facts as they are. I don't want everyone in my business; to each his own as they say. The gentleman showed a degree of interest and then I decided as is my tendency, to probe a bit deeper... to discover his dreams, goals, and aspirations for the future. For at the heart of these lies the true heart of an individual. Applications, appointments, dials etc. are part of the process but what makes a lasting effect on an individual, what keeps them in the game so to speak is not the business... it is their broader vision of themselves and the hope--the hope that they can o

Did you know that you deserve to be happy? Did you know that you deserve to have all of the health, wealth, and abundance life has to offer? Did you know that, "You Can't Shrink Your Way to Greatness," as Dave Anderson discusses in his book Up Your Business! Seven Steps to Fix, Build, or Stretch Your Organization? If you are to be a success at anything you must be less concerned with the costs of building your capacity to grow, whether tangible or intangible, and more concerned with the cost of neglecting your ability to stretch. But how do you push through the doubt and the uncertainty that comes from forging a new path? For starters, there were others that came before you! You should take solace in this fact... by learning the stories of those who have struggled before you and made it through to the other side you will breathe life into your own journey. Do not focus on the negatives... focus on the possibilities! According to Loral Langemeier in The Millionaire Maker&#

Never make your appeal to a man's better nature; he may not have one. Always make your appeal to his self-interest. - Lazarus Long

You may get down but never stay down. - Laura Ceville

HOPE is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark. - Anonymous If you do not HOPE, you will not find what is beyond your HOPEs. - St. Clement of Alexandria HOPE never abandons you; you abandon it. - George Weinberg Once you choose HOPE, anything's possible. - Christopher Reeve The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for HOPE. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to HOPE for. - Allan K. Chalmers HOPE is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so HOPEs strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles HOPE is faith holding out its hand in the dark. - George Iles Keep laughing. As long as you're laughing you still have HOPE. - Moe Howard While there's life, there's HOPE. - Cicero HOPE sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible. - Anonymous At first we HOPE too much

It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction. - Henry Ward Beecher

I've pondered the Cookie Syndrome a bit more... as far as the background: Part 1: My mother taught us to practice self denial... if we were offered something we were repeatedly told to say no thank you... even if we actually wanted what was being offer. Part 2: I attended an event at a hotel for my business and there was a display at the front desk of the hotel with assorted fresh-baked cookies. I wanted a cookie. I really wanted a cookie. But I was not staying at that hotel, nor was I the one paying for the conference room we were using therefore I felt that I was not entitled to a cookie. So I did not take one. My friend on the other hand walked up and started chatting with the front desk clerk, grabbed a cookie, and went on his merry way. He was the one paying for the conference room but I believe that even if he had not been a paying guest he would have taken a cookie if he had wanted one. I know, all of this analyzing over a simple little cookie. But I think it is very telling

Me (8/26 8:58 am): When I was a child Mom had us practice self denial. if we were offered something, even if we really wanted it, we were to told to say no thanks Me (8/26 9:00 am): I think it is my most damaging limiting belief... I've been conditioned to believe that self denial is the proper path Me (8/26 9:00 am): It's the Cookie Syndrome. At the hotel I really wanted 1 of those cookies at the front desk. U took one, I didn't becuz I didn't think they were for us. Me (8/26 9:05 am): But I really wanted one... I actually feel the self denial in my gut... It feels like a pang of longing in my body. You (8/26 9:05 am): I'm sorry, did not mean to influence u. So are we not paying guests? Me (8/26 9:08 am): I gave nothing of value in order to feel justified in receiving something. Me (8/26 9:10 am): I'm sure you would still have taken a cookie even if u weren't a paying guest. If u wanted it. And u wouldn't have given it a second thought. You (8/26

These are actual diary excerpts from 2004... they make me laugh and I felt like sharing! "I laugh a lot on the inside but definitely not as much on the outside. I guess I don't want people to know what makes me tick and quite frankly most people aren't that funny." In reference to a half marathon I ran: "I want [my Grandma] to know that I never stopped running. I pushed passed my pain. I remember thinking that the pain was keeping me awake. But why would I fall asleep while running?" "I honestly think that flies are getting smarter." "Maybe flies aren't smarter..." "I'm still in the airport--almost time to board the plane. I must say I have never seen so many people take their shoes off in any one public place... maybe the ice skating rink but that's because they are putting on ice skates! I'm not mentioning this because it is improper necessarily (which it is)..." "The lady across from me just said 'Oh

How many of you have ever heard or said yourself, "I'm not into sales. I'm just not a salesman."? Well let me break it to you--everyday of your life you are selling something! If you're a parent you may have to sell your kids on why they should eat breakfast before rushing out the door in the morning, or why they should tidy up their room and pick up their toys today. If you are dating you had to "sell" yourself with perfume, cologne, makeup, an impressive resume etc. (it's called marketing people!) in order to sell the idea of being date-worthy and eventually marriage-worthy. If you've ever applied for a job you had to sell the Office Manager on why you'd be an excellent addition to their team. Many of you have dined at a fine restaurant and enjoyed your meal so much you told others about the experience. Or perhaps you saw the latest flick at the local "theater near you" and told your friends it was a "must see." You do

My oh my, how the time does fly! This week was one of the more interesting weeks I've had in quite some time. Lessons learned? Varied... from how to deal with a case of mistaken identity (it's a doozy !) to how to deal with a client who just can't seem to stay awake during a sales call! Regardless of the bumps along the way as long as you are focused on the end goal the daily happenings you experience will seem like minor blips on the radar in no time at all. For some of us, not soon enough! Time heals all wounds they say but just yesterday I thought of a memory I hoped had been obliterated from my memory by now. It bothered me that after all of these years it's still there... in the shadows. And gosh darn it I reproduced the very same emotions I experienced in that brief moment in time so long ago. These thoughts are the muck and yuck, the dregs that lurk at the bottom of your existence and threaten to forever taint your very soul... but only if you let them! It's

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbow'd. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. -William Ernest Henley

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt

In reference to the late Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of our 32 nd President Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Adlai Stevenson mused, "She would rather light candles than curse the darkness, and her glow has warmed the world." How many of you have cursed the darkness at least 10 times before you rise from your peaceful slumber each morning? Before you kick off the sheets and step into the light of a new day? The "darkness" could refer to many things: a failed relationship, turning off your alarm and getting up late for work, not meeting your sales quota last week etc. I once heard it said that some days the only victory you have wrought is the ability to stand on your own two feet. My friends it is a victory nonetheless! We must learn how to redefine our successes and step boldly into the face of opposition! For that is where we will find our success. I learned a new word yesterday... temerity. I liked it the moment it hit my ears. Temerity refers to a conspicuous or flag

"What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are." - Anthony Robbins Today go out and make a commitment to see someone as they will be, not as they are. See the people around you as they could be and they may just surprise you by rising to the challenge. Do not condemn, do not judge, just expect more and give people the opportunity to rise to the occasion. For as Goethe said, "Look at a man the way that he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be."

Hip, hip... Hooray! "We have an innate desire to endlessly learn , grow, and develop. We want to become more than what we already are. Once we yield to this inclination for continuous and never-ending improvement, we lead a life of endless accomplishments and satisfaction." - Chuck Gallozzi Hip, hip... Hooray! "People call me a perfectionist, but I'm not. I'm a 'rightist.' I do something until it's right, and then I move on to the next thing." - James Cameron Hip, hip... Hooray! "He who stops being better stops being good." - Oliver Cromwell

Part of building a solid foundation in business (building on the rock as they say!) is becoming referable; being referable means being someone others can trust. People want to work with those they know, like, and trust--period. A friend and fellow entrepreneur gave me a CD to listen to several months back from The Strategic Coach Program ( http://strategiccoach.com/ ) he participated in. It mentioned certain " referability habits." It was exciting to see that these tenets are simplistic in nature but it is absolutely alarming how infrequently people comply with all four! How do you measure up? For starters, do you show up on time for appointments? Having served with our nation's best in the United States Air Force this was definitely a priority. Timeliness was of utmost importance so much so that one of my Air Force Academy cadre felt compelled to share this simple little phrase I have long committed to memory: "If you aren't five minutes early, you're alre

I came across a sundial that said: "The Time to Be Happy is Now. The Place to Be Happy is Here." Simple, yet this saying is at the heart of so much unrest for so many. I struggle with this one myself! Most people say, if only I had "X," things would be better. If only I had "X" amount of money I would start saving. If only I had "X" opportunity I would really be successful. If only I had the--fill in the blank--health, wealth, skills etc. life would be so much different! What is your X Factor? Unfortunately we build our whole lives around our X Factor. We "if only" ourselves to the grave... when our lives are spent we finally look back and say, " Tomorrow never came." We then realize, when it is too late, that our time to shine was at our very fingertips. It was always ours for the taking. As Thoreau says, "Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads." And not just some days... everyday! A few years ago I ha

Come to the edge, He said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, He said. They came. He pushed them, And they flew... - Guillaume Apollinaire

Have you ever complained about something? You in the back, not raising your hand... I bet you don't breathe air either! Let's face it, we all have at some point or another. Have you considered that the only reason you're complaining about whatever it is your complaining about is because you know there is something better out there? As Jack Canfield shared in his book The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be , "In order to complain about something or someone, you have to believe that something better exists." Uh oh... now he's gone and done it! That means you, yes YOU, have to take responsibility for YOU. And dang it, me too! Geez oh pete... I didn't want to know that! But seriously, do you realize that we only complain about things we can actually do something about? Have you ever complained about the sky being blue? Of course not! It is what it is. But you'll hear people complain about their spouse, their house,

From A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course In Miracles , by Marianne Williamson: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Now, I feel that I must disclose that my ability to visualize is not always at its peak. I have visualized and not been able to manifest that which I tried to conjure. But I take full responsibility for my ineptitude. It was my lack of clarity and focus that caused my failure (there's that word again!). Just last week I was listening to a cassette tape (yes, you read correctly... cassette tape) that mentioned Robert Louis Stevenson--the author, essayist, poet... does Treasure Island ring a bell? When Stevenson's faith waned as to whether or not he was truly in control of his life he was said to perform the following exercise. He would visualize with specificity something that he wanted and he'd wait for it to manifest itself in his life. That day I had a storm cloud hovering over me and my wings seemed to have been covered in mud. I was a bit blue and frustrated with my progress in certain areas of my life; yes! I have those days too! So I decided to give the exercise

Last year I wanted a belt. Not just any belt. A black belt with a silver, rectangular buckle that would work with my business attire. I didn't have a belt but I was in business... so I needed a business belt. I thought about the belt, I imagined how it would look on me, and then I went out in search of the belt! As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, "Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." And so I did... I went straight to my local Goodwill store and there it was. A black belt with a silver, rectangular belt buckle just my size! And perfect for business attire! 10 March 2008 I wrote in my diary, "My belt is a gift from God... it is exactly what I had envisioned before going to buy it @ the Goodwill store..." I asked and the universe delivered! But the key is I didn't just ask... I created a vision of what I wanted and I took action . Ladies and gentlemen, "We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains

I sent this e-mail to my Agency Manager and copied MM on 15 July 2009: I felt compelled to share this excerpt from my diary that was written a few days after MM spoke on 4 March 2009 (I was reviewing my notes from his talk)... like MM and other leaders have said before... "If you're not growing you're dying, there is no standing still." "8 March 2009 - Yesterday Braden and I went to Clifton Gorge... we stopped... actually Braden stopped at a spot and started walking over a tree that had fallen... like a balance beam... I avoided it... it looked like it was a long way across and too far of a drop... I walked around it... on the way back I decided to try and I stopped [on the log] and was very unsteady--my arms waving to and fro... as I tried to maintain my balance... I did not walk forward... and I did not walk back... I merely stood in place... Braden told me to keep moving and when I did I realized how easy it was for me to maintain my balance and how easy it wa

"Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of effectiveness, happiness, and trust-based relationships." - Stephen Covey As Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit." It is exciting to think that we can overcome and conquer ourselves by simply making deliberate, consistent action toward the direction of our dreams. And all we have to do is act as "if" we've already accomplished or achieved our objective in order for it to manifest itself as a reality. We have to develop the habit of telling ourselves that we have already achieved what we set out to achieve and our subconscious will go to work to make that "perceived" reality manifest itself. Creating a new habit and sustaining that new habit may be new territory for you. Perhaps you'd like to work out three times

Paper hole punch art... yes, those are really paper hole punches! And no, it's not hard to do... I enjoy the medium quite a bit as you can see! I have made larger pieces in the past but these are actually ACEOs (Art Cards, Editions, and Originals) so they are mini pieces of art... 2.5" by 3.5"(the size of a standard trading card).

Hearing versus listening... do you know the difference? The foundation of great relationships and great leadership is great listening. Leaders are listeners as they say. And there is a BIG difference between hearing and listening... anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows that firsthand. According to Jack Canfield in his book, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be , hearing is "simply receiving communication" and listening, truly listening, is "...the art of paying thoughtful attention with a mind toward understanding the complete message being delivered." He goes on to say that "Unlike simply hearing someone's account, listening requires maintaining eye contact, watching the person's body language, asking for clarification, and listening for the unspoken message." Listening, in short, means paying close attention! And for some, paying attention period would be a step in the right direction! You kn

In Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People he states that time management is actually a misnomer because "...the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves." How true is that! And to be honest, I had never considered that point of view. At the Air Force Academy (Class of 2002 baby!) we were continually running from one event to another in an effort to balance our military, academic, and athletic disciplines . As a result I have always touted that the Academy is where I developed my time management skills... in fact, I really developed an ability to manage myself and my own actions. The choice was, and will always remain, mine. On page 92--my favorite page in the entire book--Covey discusses ways we can control and change our lives "immediately." Who doesn't want that? Most folks want to change or alter some aspect of their lives for the better. So how do we do this? Well, he states that "We can make a promise--and keep it.

OK, so back to that word failure... it's still rattling around in my head. I remembered a story I read out of the 2005 Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market (one of my life goals is to have a children's book on the market that I have both written and illustrated!). One of their featured authors was a woman named Kelly DiPucchio . Kelly was a stay-at-home Mom turned writer and from 1994 to 1998 "...she continuously wrote and submitted her work--and continuously got rejected." In 1999, she got the idea for a book about a family of pigs... Bed Hogs . Having been unable to place her previous work on her own and having received nearly 200 rejection letters in the process, she decided to hire an agent to market her lovely wares. Now, when I first read the story I said to myself, at some point I would have thought, "Maybe I'm just not that good." But Kelly persisted and through her agent was able to land her very first book deal which repo

OK, so I mentioned that word... failure. It's not truly failure unless you learn something from it. Or is it? Failure is failure! Embrace it, don't be afraid of it! Don't let it hold you back. I love the scene from the animated film, and forgive me because at this moment I can't remember the title but it will come to me--Scout's honor!--where the little boy is asked to repair the peanut butter and jelly squirting machine. And he works on it and he thinks it's fixed. Then he tries to use it and it makes a big mess... I mean peanut butter and jelly on everyone. And he braces himself... for the yells, the screams, the "What were you thinking kid?!?" And the first thing his friends/family say? That was... AMAZING! That was WONDERFUL! That was the most SPECTACULAR failure we have ever seen! And he's shocked and he's excited. You see, he is an inventor and he has now been given the lesson of a lifetime! The GIFT of a lifetime! It will shape his very

OK, I have a lot to say. I've been holding it in for a long time. And it's finally time to let it out. Because I can't keep it in any longer. The road to riches is hard. Everything isn't easy. And life isn't worth living unless you share yourself with others. This will help heal the hurts and the sting of failure. I will be victorious. I will succeed. Others have blazed a trail; I walk in the shadows of greatness. There is no such thing as try. There is only do... or die.

According to Wikipedia , the term "lifestyle" was originally coined by Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychologist, in 1929. It is defined as the nuances--the attitudes, beliefs, habits, persona, economic level etc.--that constitute the mode of living for an individual or group. I buy that. Britannica Online Encyclopedia tells us, "Each person develops his personality and strives for perfection in his own particular way, in what Adler termed a style of life, or lifestyle. The individual’s lifestyle forms in early childhood and is partly determined by what particular inferiority affected him most deeply during his formative years." Man, I find that curious. Our lifestyle is "...partly determined by what particular inferiority affected [us] most deeply during [our] formative years?" OK... I buy that too. Because, admittedly, that's my reality (we'll get to that later) and in all likelihood, yours too. If you don't believe me just read T. Harv Eker&#