The Cookie Syndrome
I've pondered the Cookie Syndrome a bit more... as far as the background:
Part 1: My mother taught us to practice self denial... if we were offered something we were repeatedly told to say no thank you... even if we actually wanted what was being offer.
Part 2: I attended an event at a hotel for my business and there was a display at the front desk of the hotel with assorted fresh-baked cookies. I wanted a cookie. I really wanted a cookie. But I was not staying at that hotel, nor was I the one paying for the conference room we were using therefore I felt that I was not entitled to a cookie. So I did not take one. My friend on the other hand walked up and started chatting with the front desk clerk, grabbed a cookie, and went on his merry way. He was the one paying for the conference room but I believe that even if he had not been a paying guest he would have taken a cookie if he had wanted one.
I know, all of this analyzing over a simple little cookie. But I think it is very telling. In my previous discussion (12 Rounds) I stated that "I actually feel the self denial in my gut" and "It feels like a pang of longing in my body." Reflecting on it, I'd have to say that is incorrect. It's actually anxiety that I'm feeling; not longing. The anxiety stems from the misconceived notion that people will look at me as greedy and self serving. I would feel devastated at being labeled anything but generous, kind, and giving. I feel like I will be judged or labeled based on my decision.
Something else to consider... most people assume the "no" in life. I'm surprised I assumed the no as well! I could have simply asked for what I wanted giving me equal chance of obtaining that which I wanted or giving me the opportunity to set my sights on another conquest. By asking for what I wanted, I would have taken care of the anxiety and I would have felt justified in my cookie acquisition if the desk clerk had said yes! But again, I assumed that it wasn't for me so I didn't even bother to ask! Yikes! This reaction does not bode well for business my friends.
Bottom line... go for the no... be excited about the no... look for opportunities to get a no. In the book Go For No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz they discuss the fact that people who are truly successful have a "wantingness to fail." These people go "beyond mere tolerance or acceptance of failure" and develop "the desire to fail with the inner faith that personal and financial growth will follow." According to the authors, "Fewer than 5% of all people" get to this level! Hmmm... and if a mere 5% of all people hold 95% of the world's wealth... connect the dots.
Beyond the "wantingness to fail" is "Failing BIGGER and Faster!" whereby if "failing is good, then failing faster is better!" and lastly "Failing Exponentially," a level that "is for those rare individuals who understand that massive success requires multiplication of effort." This last group understands that "if individual failure means individual success; group failure equals group success!"
So here's your action step: If you want the cookie, ask for the cookie! If you want the raise, ask for the raise! If you want the sale, ask for the sale! Don't let the Cookie Syndrome hold you down!
To Your Success!
Part 1: My mother taught us to practice self denial... if we were offered something we were repeatedly told to say no thank you... even if we actually wanted what was being offer.
Part 2: I attended an event at a hotel for my business and there was a display at the front desk of the hotel with assorted fresh-baked cookies. I wanted a cookie. I really wanted a cookie. But I was not staying at that hotel, nor was I the one paying for the conference room we were using therefore I felt that I was not entitled to a cookie. So I did not take one. My friend on the other hand walked up and started chatting with the front desk clerk, grabbed a cookie, and went on his merry way. He was the one paying for the conference room but I believe that even if he had not been a paying guest he would have taken a cookie if he had wanted one.
I know, all of this analyzing over a simple little cookie. But I think it is very telling. In my previous discussion (12 Rounds) I stated that "I actually feel the self denial in my gut" and "It feels like a pang of longing in my body." Reflecting on it, I'd have to say that is incorrect. It's actually anxiety that I'm feeling; not longing. The anxiety stems from the misconceived notion that people will look at me as greedy and self serving. I would feel devastated at being labeled anything but generous, kind, and giving. I feel like I will be judged or labeled based on my decision.
Something else to consider... most people assume the "no" in life. I'm surprised I assumed the no as well! I could have simply asked for what I wanted giving me equal chance of obtaining that which I wanted or giving me the opportunity to set my sights on another conquest. By asking for what I wanted, I would have taken care of the anxiety and I would have felt justified in my cookie acquisition if the desk clerk had said yes! But again, I assumed that it wasn't for me so I didn't even bother to ask! Yikes! This reaction does not bode well for business my friends.
Bottom line... go for the no... be excited about the no... look for opportunities to get a no. In the book Go For No! by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz they discuss the fact that people who are truly successful have a "wantingness to fail." These people go "beyond mere tolerance or acceptance of failure" and develop "the desire to fail with the inner faith that personal and financial growth will follow." According to the authors, "Fewer than 5% of all people" get to this level! Hmmm... and if a mere 5% of all people hold 95% of the world's wealth... connect the dots.
Beyond the "wantingness to fail" is "Failing BIGGER and Faster!" whereby if "failing is good, then failing faster is better!" and lastly "Failing Exponentially," a level that "is for those rare individuals who understand that massive success requires multiplication of effort." This last group understands that "if individual failure means individual success; group failure equals group success!"
So here's your action step: If you want the cookie, ask for the cookie! If you want the raise, ask for the raise! If you want the sale, ask for the sale! Don't let the Cookie Syndrome hold you down!
To Your Success!
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