The Name Game

Far too often we go careening through life with all of the grace and elegance of a bulldozer, taking street lamps and delicate sidewalk foliage down with us as we go. Let this be a warning: there are two things people love, not like, LOVE. The first is the sound of their name being spoken aloud to them and the second is a sincere and honest compliment. As for the former, Dale Carnegie, in his timeless classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, described the significance people place on their names of "astounding importance." Mispronounce or misspell it and you've now built a wall 10 feet high and 12 inches thick that you'll need to surmount before your given access to their inner workings.

Having a uniquely spelled last name myself I am sensitive to names and name "mutilation." That's Ceville with a "C" by the way. Being on the receiving end of a mispronounced or misspelled name is like a mental glitch... like a splinter in one's mind. If you fail to respect someone's name in business you might as well not be in business! It's just as important if not more so than your cost of goods because failing to remember someone's name will cost you more than you could imagine!

When I was in the military I remember one "name" conversation that has always stuck with me. A friend that I worked with went by the last name of Loveless. This particular person was and still is an extremely sharp airmen who was nominated for countless awards that year, several of which he won. However, the General overseeing our unit would continually greet him as "Lovelace" instead of "Loveless." When he related his story it was apparent that the meaning and joy from having received all of those awards was undermined by the fact that the General never got his name right. It was a true disappointment for my friend.

Need some help remembering names? Here are some useful tips:

1. If you're having a conversation with someone and you don't understand them when they introduce themselves... ask for their name again and if you still can't quite catch it, ask them to spell it. People will appreciate the gesture in making an effort to remember their name.

2. Repetition works wonders! Once the person introduces themselves, say hello and repeat their name back to them. Then ask them a question about themselves and use their name again. For example, "So Sam, how long have you been a chemical engineer?"

3. After someone introduces themselves create a mental picture of their name. In Frank Bettger's How I Raised Myself from Failure to Success in Selling, he explains that "Psychologists tell us that most of our memory troubles are really not memory troubles at all; they are observation troubles." I'm sure you've heard plenty of people say, "Oh, I'm so good with faces but I'm so bad with names!" Well, like I said, create a mental picture of their name to go along with their charming face and voila! (Also, STOP saying your bad with names... and START saying you're great with names. Trust me on this one.)

4. Lastly, try and associate their name with something. For instance, when I introduce myself and someone has trouble with my name, I usually say: "That's Ceville, as in Cadillac Seville, but spelled with a 'C' instead of an S." Although, I did meet someone who told me, "Hon, I'm from the country, I don't know about those fancy cars." Ummmm... OK. P.S. - Make sure you know your audience!

Alright folks... I hope this helped. Bottom line... knowing someone's name is a fantastic way to build rapport quickly and easily. So pay attention and enjoy going out there and playing the name game.