The Road to Lifestyle

I've pondered the Cookie Syndrome a bit more... as far as the background: Part 1: My mother taught us to practice self denial... if we were offered something we were repeatedly told to say no thank you... even if we actually wanted what was being offer. Part 2: I attended an event at a hotel for my business and there was a display at the front desk of the hotel with assorted fresh-baked cookies. I wanted a cookie. I really wanted a cookie. But I was not staying at that hotel, nor was I the one paying for the conference room we were using therefore I felt that I was not entitled to a cookie. So I did not take one. My friend on the other hand walked up and started chatting with the front desk clerk, grabbed a cookie, and went on his merry way. He was the one paying for the conference room but I believe that even if he had not been a paying guest he would have taken a cookie if he had wanted one. I know, all of this analyzing over a simple little cookie. But I think it is very telling...

Me (8/26 8:58 am): When I was a child Mom had us practice self denial. if we were offered something, even if we really wanted it, we were to told to say no thanks Me (8/26 9:00 am): I think it is my most damaging limiting belief... I've been conditioned to believe that self denial is the proper path Me (8/26 9:00 am): It's the Cookie Syndrome. At the hotel I really wanted 1 of those cookies at the front desk. U took one, I didn't becuz I didn't think they were for us. Me (8/26 9:05 am): But I really wanted one... I actually feel the self denial in my gut... It feels like a pang of longing in my body. You (8/26 9:05 am): I'm sorry, did not mean to influence u. So are we not paying guests? Me (8/26 9:08 am): I gave nothing of value in order to feel justified in receiving something. Me (8/26 9:10 am): I'm sure you would still have taken a cookie even if u weren't a paying guest. If u wanted it. And u wouldn't have given it a second thought. You (8/26...

These are actual diary excerpts from 2004... they make me laugh and I felt like sharing! "I laugh a lot on the inside but definitely not as much on the outside. I guess I don't want people to know what makes me tick and quite frankly most people aren't that funny." In reference to a half marathon I ran: "I want [my Grandma] to know that I never stopped running. I pushed passed my pain. I remember thinking that the pain was keeping me awake. But why would I fall asleep while running?" "I honestly think that flies are getting smarter." "Maybe flies aren't smarter..." "I'm still in the airport--almost time to board the plane. I must say I have never seen so many people take their shoes off in any one public place... maybe the ice skating rink but that's because they are putting on ice skates! I'm not mentioning this because it is improper necessarily (which it is)..." "The lady across from me just said 'Oh ...

How many of you have ever heard or said yourself, "I'm not into sales. I'm just not a salesman."? Well let me break it to you--everyday of your life you are selling something! If you're a parent you may have to sell your kids on why they should eat breakfast before rushing out the door in the morning, or why they should tidy up their room and pick up their toys today. If you are dating you had to "sell" yourself with perfume, cologne, makeup, an impressive resume etc. (it's called marketing people!) in order to sell the idea of being date-worthy and eventually marriage-worthy. If you've ever applied for a job you had to sell the Office Manager on why you'd be an excellent addition to their team. Many of you have dined at a fine restaurant and enjoyed your meal so much you told others about the experience. Or perhaps you saw the latest flick at the local "theater near you" and told your friends it was a "must see." You do...

My oh my, how the time does fly! This week was one of the more interesting weeks I've had in quite some time. Lessons learned? Varied... from how to deal with a case of mistaken identity (it's a doozy !) to how to deal with a client who just can't seem to stay awake during a sales call! Regardless of the bumps along the way as long as you are focused on the end goal the daily happenings you experience will seem like minor blips on the radar in no time at all. For some of us, not soon enough! Time heals all wounds they say but just yesterday I thought of a memory I hoped had been obliterated from my memory by now. It bothered me that after all of these years it's still there... in the shadows. And gosh darn it I reproduced the very same emotions I experienced in that brief moment in time so long ago. These thoughts are the muck and yuck, the dregs that lurk at the bottom of your existence and threaten to forever taint your very soul... but only if you let them! It's...

Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbow'd. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. -William Ernest Henley

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat." - Teddy Roosevelt

In reference to the late Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of our 32 nd President Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Adlai Stevenson mused, "She would rather light candles than curse the darkness, and her glow has warmed the world." How many of you have cursed the darkness at least 10 times before you rise from your peaceful slumber each morning? Before you kick off the sheets and step into the light of a new day? The "darkness" could refer to many things: a failed relationship, turning off your alarm and getting up late for work, not meeting your sales quota last week etc. I once heard it said that some days the only victory you have wrought is the ability to stand on your own two feet. My friends it is a victory nonetheless! We must learn how to redefine our successes and step boldly into the face of opposition! For that is where we will find our success. I learned a new word yesterday... temerity. I liked it the moment it hit my ears. Temerity refers to a conspicuous or flag...

"What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are." - Anthony Robbins Today go out and make a commitment to see someone as they will be, not as they are. See the people around you as they could be and they may just surprise you by rising to the challenge. Do not condemn, do not judge, just expect more and give people the opportunity to rise to the occasion. For as Goethe said, "Look at a man the way that he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be."